Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
