I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How does one acquire holy water?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
