i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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