it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
