Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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