That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
