don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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