I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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