My underwear smells like fireworks.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
