I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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