The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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