someone get that fucking seahorse.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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