In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
