So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Mom said you looked used
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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