I heard we made out
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think i have herpe
just one?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
