Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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