i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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