nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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