scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize