we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
