Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
