Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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