I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
