i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
