4 words: hood of his car
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am naked and annoyed.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize