Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
