He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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