Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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