DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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