It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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