Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
