He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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