I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
