meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize