Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
