i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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