What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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