one might say we're banned from that church
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
