so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize