of course. lets lasso hookers.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
