All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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