If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
