Barsexuality is the new black.
and she was petting her beer can
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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