were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
