I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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