my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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