She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're a waste of cheezeits
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
