Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
