He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
