A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
