Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
