PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
