I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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