There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
