Moan for me like Helen Keller
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
