i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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