i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
