i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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