I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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