he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
