If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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