let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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