So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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