Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
