so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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