I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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